Ezt kellett volna bemérni fiatalon, és ennek megfelelően úgy szervezni az életünket, hogy ebbe a gazemberségbe a lehető legkevésbé keveredjünk bele. Ezt nem vettem észre időben, viszont 99 hete, amikor kitört a háború, valahogy ráéreztem mégis, akkor valahonnan jött egy érzés, hogy itt kurva nagy baj van, kellett ennyi idő, hogy kivilágosodjon, össze tudjam rakni magamban az érzés eredetét de most már megvagyok vele túl vagyok rajta, és ez tulajdonképpen nagyon jó, még akkor is, ha sokkal korábban kellett volna, meg akkor is ha nagyon nehéz feladatok következnek mostantól. Mert sokan még nem látják ezt be, de én most már igen, és tudok róla beszélni, írni és tudok most már tudatosan is távolodni mindentől amit eddig csináltam.
Tegnap este telihold volt, szinte percre pontosan akkor, amikor 99 hete eldöntöttem, hogy komolyan veszem a háborút, és a telihold valami különös véletlen folytán pont az oroszlánban, az én csillagjegyemben jelent meg ezúttal, engem ünnepelt a hold is. Ma elmegyek Bécsbe a tenyér tetoválás utolsó fordulójára, és azzal minden kész lesz, lezárul ez a hosszú átmeneti időszak, kezdődik egy új élet. Gyönyörűen mutatják ezek a véletlen egybeesések is, hogy belekerültem a fókuszba végre, a kohóba, ahol a lét egésze izzik, nem is szeretnék soha kikerülni innen, elégni is itt szeretnék majd...
Now I am quite sure that this modern society has choosen a fundamentally wrong way of living which we should not have learned from our parents - we should have seen this mistake at the beginning of our adult life and we should have started searching for the right answer for it. It is a very serious mistake, almost the only real sin, to exploite the resources of which there is only a limited quantity because the processes of nature do not (or only very slowly) reproduce them, this is a step which is simply impossible to justify morally, since it will not be available to anyone in the future if I take it away now. We used to explain this by calling it development saying that our descendants will also benefit from it, but this is pure ash, this has nothing to do with development, with the improvement of man, it's just that I am taking the precious materials of Earth for myself to facilitate my life, but in the meantime I will be weaker, and so will my descendants, so they will have to use the same amount of resources or even more what will cause that those resources will further dwindle and at this point we find ourselvs in the vicious circle from which there is only one exit: the full collapse of the "developed" global society.
We should have observed this when we were young, and we should have organized our lives in such a way as to get involved as little as possiblein this villainy. I didn't notice this at that time, but 99 weeks ago, when the war in Ukraine broke out, I somehow sensed it, then a feeling came that there was a fucking big problem here, it took all this time to clear up, to piece together the origin of the feeling in myself, but now I'm fine I'm over it, and that's actually very good, even if it should have been much done earlier, and even if very difficult tasks will come from now on. Because many people don't see this yet, but I do now, and I can talk about it, write about it, and I can now consciously distance myself from everything I did before.
Yesterday evening it was full moon, almost exactly at the same hour and minute when 99 weeks ago i decided to take the war seriously, and by some strange coincidence the full moon appeared in Leo, my zodiac sign - even moon celebrated me. Today I'm going to Vienna for the last round of my palm tattoos, and with that everything will be finished, this long transition period will end, my new life will begin. These coincidences also beautifully show that I have finally come into the right focus, in the furnace where the whole existence glows, I never want to get out of here, this is the place where I want to burn...